Instal the new Lolita3/15/2024 Honestly creative directors do less with more everyday. I think the idea with the haircut was that he was looking for the right outfit to prostrate himself in front of his ex, who he cheats on. A physical reminder that – while not unfireable per se – neither of us has been fired yet. It calms me to see his self-inflicted bald spot pop up a few cubicles away. Like a medieval monk doing penance for being born poor. The only person who thinks I’m funny at work is my office wife, a short gay man named Tony who five years ago was given a razor on acid and gave himself a tonsure. Last week I got called in by HR for responding to an e-mail chain, “Looping in your mom.” I would like to clarify that the only thing I regret – about sending an email to eighteen people at a large corporation that said looping in your mom – was not saying “cc’ing your cousin.” I can’t think of a more interesting anomaly. There’s no room for error.Īll the Lolitas I know are hot. They understood the competition from a young age. With people from LA, you always have to account for the greenhouse atmosphere of growing up in a city where you could go to elementary school with multiple girls named Lolita. Now that I’ve met all these people I feel unmoored. I admit the driving principle behind all my decisions for the past ten years was putting myself in rooms with people named Buffy and Bunny. But there I go, part of the problem again, telling unemployed girls they’re “fascinating”. Generally speaking, you have to be careful with compliments, or you’ll be responsible for giving someone the confidence to write a novel. It’s important to remind writers – who are obsessed with popularity – that critics lie, people don’t even like good books, publicists make things popular, and money is in television anyway. Whenever I meet someone who has just published a book, there is a high probability that I hate their book and all my friends hate their book. I know people think I’m poor because they’re always telling me I should write a book.
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